


after all these years

by hyunibunni



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Four Kingdoms, Gay, Getting Together, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Marriage, Princes & Princesses, Strict Parents, Weddings, and rules that come with, brothers! chanlix, everyone is a prince except for minho, jisung and hyunjin are in love, kinda heavily implied, king training, theres like a little blurb abt it?? idk, twins! hyunjeong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28097793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyunibunni/pseuds/hyunibunni
Summary: it’s silly. jisung has waited years for this birthday and suddenly, now, he has no words. he brings a hand up to hyunjin’s cheek, cradling it gently in the palm of his hand. hyunjin’s cheeks are burning. part of jisung wants to send him back to his room. he wants to be a little more patient and ask hyunjin to be his the proper way, the way he deserves.but the tension between them in this moment is too much to bare, their waiting and longing, years of silent suffering, can end right now without a formal question asked between them, without a real date or approval from their families. this isn’t like all those princes and princesses who came before them who kept their eyes on their training until their twentieth birthday. this is emotion that’s been brewing for years.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han & Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Lee Felix & Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

of all four royal families from the four corners of the nation, jisung thinks all four siblings of the northern valley are absolute visions of white and gold, proud to stand tall and wear the family crest on their breasts.

the oldest is hayoung, the only woman left in the family after their mother’s tragic and untimely death upon the birth of the twins. she, knowingly or not, took on the role of mother to her younger brothers, and it has always been clear that she is a kind, nurturing soul well before the weight of nursery care was put on her shoulders. she was only ten then, and jisung will always admire her for being so strong and independent, for helping their father as he tried to run a country while dealing with grief. of course, it doesn’t need to be said, but jisung always thought she was a beautiful girl: with long, wavy blonde hair and sharp eyes, dark as night but inviting nonetheless. now she is a beautiful woman with a family of her own. jisung has heard the other princes talk, he’s not the only one who’s had a crush on her for most of his life.

the oldest brother, just a year younger than hayoung, is jinyoung. he’s the only one with dark hair in the family and as much as he might stand out among their land of white and gold, jisung thinks it suits him as he’s stoic, strong, hard to impress. as jisung grew up, he often looked to jinyoung with awesome wonder because he didn’t have an older sibling himself. prince chan of the southern isle was older than he, but jisung grew up with his brother yongbok as his best friend, so now as much as chan might want respect from him, truthfully he’s just another friend to play around with. jinyoung too, is now married, expecting his first child sometime in december. a fitting birth month for the son of a prince from the north.

the youngest of the family are the twins. grown up spoiled and loved, they are very clearly the reason their father still has a kind sparkle in his eye after all the sadness life has thrown at him. hayoung practically raised them, jinyoung likes to act like they’re pests but anyone who looks hard enough can see that he truly adores them, he just has a different way of showing it. the youngest by a minute is jeongin. he has sharp eyes like his sister, hair as white as snow and although he is the youngest in the family he is just as mature and poised as jinyoung. jisung has seen him loosen up at various balls and events held over the years, but it seems not even copious amounts of wine can truly shake the natural, reserved aura that surrounds him. but similar to jinyoung, even for all his stony expressions and groans of annoyance, he has a brilliantly contagious smile and cares for his family more than anything in the world.

and then there’s hyunjin. hyunjin who is playful and elegant, carefree and devastatingly charming without a single ounce of effort. jisung doesn’t know when he first realized he had romantic feelings for hyunjin. maybe it was the first time he saw hyunjin throw his head back and laugh for real, none of the pleasantries they were used to in public. maybe it was the first time hyunjin took his hand and asked him to dance, and among all the cool metal of his jewelry hyunjin’s hands were warm and soft. maybe it was seeing hyunjin ride free on his stallion with no saddle and no shoes, hair flying behind him until he had the sense to pull it into a tangled bun to keep it out of his face. maybe it was the moment they met.

whatever it was, it didn’t hit jisung all at once and it didn’t even take him by surprise. once the thought first appeared in his mind, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. like a fire in a harth, his affection for hyunjin started as a few embers, dim and almost unimportant, as he simply liked the way hyunjin smiled and the braids in his hair. but as they spent more time together, grew, and were allowed more freedom to see each other in private with friends, the more his feelings persisted. he saw hyunjin get mad and cry, fool around with his twin, gasp dramatically at the slightest inconvenience just to make his friends laugh. his love raged and bubbled up until there was a roaring inferno in his chest.

he was content with it, he embraced it, and if he was asked he wouldn’t be able to find the words to lie about it. loving hyunjin felt right, it felt real and raw and jisung wouldn’t give it up for all the riches in the world.

_____

“can i steal you?” jisung asks on the eve of hyunjin and jeongin’s eighteenth birthday. just twenty more minutes and they will ring the happy day with a true celebration like they do every year in the northern valley: with copious amounts of champagne and boisterous laughter as the clock strikes midnight and the kingdom rejoices that the youngest pair are with them and that they are healthy. hyunjin turns just slightly to catch a glimpse of the person who has gentle hold of his waist, though he doesn’t need to, he knows jisung’s voice better than he knows his own.

“you want to be responsible for my absence when my father raises a toast to me and my brother?” hyunjin hums. the words coming out of his lips might sound like a rejection but jisung is not blind to the way hyunjin’s smiling. he’s been wishing all night for someone to whisk him away. for _jisung_ to whisk him away, “you know _your_ father will have your head once he finds out you so selfishly and so rudely dragged me away from my own party before midnight. before there was even a toast in my honor.”

“when have i ever cared for what he thinks?” jisung drawls, his lips brushing the shell hyunjin’s ear. just as he isn’t blind to the smile on hyunjin’s lips, he also doesn’t miss the sigh that leaves them. for certain they are testing the boundaries of their public interactions, but jisung finds his patience stretching thinner and thinner by the minute. he knows hyunjin feels the same though he follows the training period rules religiously. even for all the rules they’ve broken over the years, respectively, this big rule: no romantic relationships with anyone until you are in the last year of training or twenty years old, whichever comes first, neither of them can bring themselves to break.

no matter how badly jisung wants to hold hyunjin in his arms after loving him all night, in the seclusion of a dark room with only candle light to see, watching him gasp with pleasure and melt into the silk sheets as he whispers jisung’s name, he can’t. _they_ can’t. it feels too disrespectful, and would bring a filthy record to their families. the only two people to ever break the biggest training period rule. they can’t.

“you make a good point, your highness, now tell me,” hyunjin pauses, crossing his arms and turning completely to face jisung, inches away. they’re lucky to be tucked away in a corner by a display of food that is momentarily forgotten as guests dance merrily. people don’t notice them here, “why exactly should i accompany you on this little rendezvous?” he’s going to agree no matter what jisung says. this coy little act is simply a part of their game. as frustrating as it is, jisung must admit it’s the only thing keeping them both sane as they wait out their training period.

“well, i would quite enjoy a stroll in the gardens,” jisung says, “i’ve never been at midnight.”

“such a shame,” hyunjin pouts, “that’s the most beautiful time.”

“so i’ve heard. and i would think as a guest in your home you should be so kind as to offer me a tour.”

“i should,” hyunjin agrees with a solemn nod, “i wouldn’t want to disrupt the peace between myself and the future king of the eastern mountains, now would i? it would be horrible for the economy.”

jisung nods, “it would. i should think if you were to be so kind as to take me on a tour, you would find that the economy needn't worry for it’s stability.”

“is that all it takes to have you on my side of trade deals prince jisung?” hyunjin teases, toying with a strand of pearls that hang delicately from his neck. jisung rather hates the formality of his title, but from hyunjin’s lips it sounds like the sweetest whisper of affection —and he must say it does something to arouse the butterflies in his stomach, “maybe i will enjoy being king after all, if it will be this easy.”

“i assure you, it won’t.”

“of course, i wouldn’t be so foolish.”

“i didn’t say you were.”

hyunjin inhales sharply and spares a glance at the party guests, “well,” he says, watching jeongin laugh with prince yongbok of the southern isle and lord lee minho from their own court, “is there any other reason i should consider sneaking away for you, my prince? other than for the sake of the economy, of course.”

“i may or may not have a bottle of wine stashed behind a potted plant,” hyunjin lets out a scandalized gasp, though completely pretend, “and i happen to know for a fact that there are board games and a record player in the pagoda at the top of the hill. it isn’t much but i like to think i can offer a more eventful evening with just that than anything you could get by staying here. as you and i both know, these lavish parties are always the same.”

“yes,” hyunjin looks back to him just as jisung catches jeongin look over to them with a knowing look in his eye, “i think you might be right.” jeongin throws jisung a wink, a green light to go ahead with whatever foolish plans they’ve concocted now. they’re so lucky jeongin knows what alone time means to them. he has to, who else would hyunjin go to when jisung sends him a terribly flirtatious letter that makes his heart leap out of his chest?

“i assure you i am,” jisung says, eyes back to his beautiful love.

“well then,” hyunjin takes jisung’s hand, “i think it’s high time you see the magnificent northern gardens at night.” he gives one last look to the crowds of people, making sure they are not spotted as they both duck their heads and escape out a back door that no one hears close behind them. hyunjin can’t hold back his boundless energy anymore, so he takes off, running light on his feet through the halls. jisung is used to this by now, he knows how to run like hyunjin, to run like mice afraid of the cat lurking around the corner. hyunjin giggles behind his free hand and he tries to remain quiet though he’s failing rather miserably. what jisung would give to be able to shut him up with a kiss.

hyunjin isn’t going in the direction of the gardens, in fact he’s going deeper into the castle, to corners jisung hasn’t seen before. he almost asks where they’re going, but if he knows hyunjin, and he does, there’s good reason for their detour. he trusts the other prince and keeps his mouth shut. they end up at the kitchens. hyunjin presses him into the wall next to the door and shushes him with a finger against his lips, staring at them instead of his eyes as he whispers, “stay here, i’ll be right back.”

jisung nods once and hyunjin’s gone, slipping in through a small crack in the door. jisung waits, holding his breath for a full minute, then hyunjin comes barreling out the door with bread and cheese tucked safely in his left arm. he grabs jisung’s hand, grinning wildly as shouts from inside the kitchen get louder and hyunjin tugs him off the wall with a breathless, “run.”

they both know master taehyun won’t chase them far, in fact he might not even pass the threshold of the kitchen door, but for the thrill of it all they both take off down the corridor as if the floor is made of lava. they run and run, turning corner after corner until jisung’s lungs sting but the adrenaline pumping through his veins keeps him going. its a wonder they don’t run into anyone to tell them off for being so improper. though, jisung thinks if they did hyunjin would be able to bat his eyes and pout his lips and just like magic they would be out of trouble. he is one of two darlings in this castle after all, the staff and nobility would do anything for him.

then, jisung stops abruptly and hyunjin gets yanked backwards, nearly dropping their food with a shrill yell of surprise. jisung laughs, cradling hyunjin’s face for a moment, “sorry,” he says, then he turns to reach around the potted plant standing tall in between a window and a slight outward extension of the wall, where he stashed the wine he promised hyunjin earlier. and because hyunjin is adamant on holding his hand as long as he can, jisung gets pulled a little as he leans over to close his fingers around the stem of the bottle and retrieve it from its hiding place. hyunjin’s confusion fades when he sees what it is.

“when did you have time to hide that?” he asks. jisung stands upright and grins slyly,

“i have connections, darling,” jisung tells him, watching hyunjin’s eyes slip, half lidded and longing at the use of such an endearing pet name.

“i’m sure you do,” hyunjin murmurs. jisung wants to kiss him. he doesn’t, regretfully, instead he brushes his nose against hyunjin’s, a soft, faux kiss they’ve exchanged many times over the years to show their affection as best as possible until they’re allowed to do it properly. the shut of a door echoes down the hall and hyunjin turns his head towards the noise, eyes wide, “the gardens?” he whispers, looking back at jisung.

“lead the way, my dear.” they go the rest of the way in silence, and at a more respectable speed since they are at the furthest end of the castle now and because of the party, there shouldn’t be anyone over here to run into.

the gardens of the northern valley aren’t really gardens like one would find in the southern isle where the blossoms are vibrant and big, and they have miles and miles of lush labyrinth to get lost in. in the north, because it is always snowy, the term ‘garden’ is used loosely. it’s more like a giant courtyard. there’s a stone path that winds in all different directions, streams that run left and right when they aren’t frozen over, and evergreens galore. they have ice sculptures and pagodas, little bridges, and heated fountains, and hyunjin wasn’t lying when he said it was the most beautiful at night. the moon shines down on them and the snow positively glitters in its light like it’s covered in the very same crystals that decorate the golden crown atop hyunjin’s head.

though its freezing in the middle of november, they walk slow because frankly jisung can’t think about the cold when he’s so taken by the beauty of the scenery in front of him. and hyunjin, of course, is well adjusted to it. they take their time, winding their way up to the top of the biggest hill in the back of the gardens where there is a pagoda with glass windows and doors, and a furnace in the center. jisung is shivering as they get closer so as much as he wants to look around more, he can’t, he isn’t dressed properly for it, and hyunjin knows this, pulling him up at a quicker pace. inside the pagoda it is significantly warmer and hyunjin moves to start a fire in the hearth. jisung lays out a blanket and gets everything settled on the floor.

when there is music on the record player and the bottle of wine is open, hyunjin finally has the fire going steady and joins jisung where he sits on a bed of cushions, “after you,” jisung says, passing him the bottle to drink from first, as it is his birthday after all. as hyunjin brings the bottle to his lips, a chime from the clocktower of the royal cathedral just on the opposite of the castle rings out into the night air. it is midnight, “happy birthday, my darling,” jisung hums, meeting hyunjin’s eyes with a beaming smile which pulls his attention away from getting drunk to give jisung another one of those charming nose kisses.

“thank you,” he whispers, leaving the ghost of his breath on jisung’s lips as he pulls back and once again raises the wine to his lips. in the true fashion of a northern valley citizen, he gulps down a healthy amount before passing it over, his fingers brushing jisung’s as he does. jisung takes a few swigs and watches as hyunjin unpins his hair to be more comfortable. he starts with his crown, similar in size to jisung’s as they are not kings yet. they are so small that a more appropriate word would be tiara, but jisung’s father says such a word is associated with dainty things which he, apparently, is not because he is the strong crown prince of the eastern mountains. but perhaps for hyunjin, so graceful and fair, tiara is the perfect word.

he removes a handful of gold hairpins, some with pearls stuck on them, some without, and with the pins removed his long hair begins to fall out of the braids the stylists so meticulously looped together in an intricate pattern on the top of his head. it’s sad to see all their hard work come falling down but oh, does jisung adore the messy beauty that is hyunjin’s hair in its natural state. he knows what he’s doing when he watches jisung as he threads his fingers through his hair until all the kinks are out. he’s dangerous. jisung looks away before he makes any brash decisions and focuses instead on the sweet bite of the wine as he pours more down his throat. he thinks he hears hyunjin giggle a little.

“did you enjoy the party?” jisung asks after hyunjin is done messing with his hair and the wine has been passed back over. hyunjin ponders the question while taking yet another large drink from the bottle. it’s over halfway gone now. he lays on his side, propping himself up on his elbow.

“it was tolerable,” hyunjin hums, “this is making it much better.”

“is it?”

“mhm,” hyunjin hums once more, smiling lazily up at jisung, “i’ve been waiting for years for you to drag me away from the ballroom!” he admits with a whine, “you’re supposed to be my partner in crime, jisung! jeongin can’t bring himself to sneak into the kitchens even at an hour when we know good and well they’re _empty_ , yongbok is always hanging on changbin, not to mention they’re both just like my brother, who, has his moments of fun but still has a stick up his ass just like every other royal in the nation. but you have never said no to me and my ideas.”

“you know i just can’t bring myself to say refuse you.”

hyunjin stares at him for a long minute and jisung feels his skin heat up. truthfully he thinks they should’ve just stayed outside. with the fire, the wine, and hyunjin staring at him so intensely, he thinks he might burst into flames on the spot. then hyunjin smiles softly, continuing as though nothing happened as he picks at the fraying edge of the blanket, “then why have you never stolen me away before? the furthest you ever drag me is to the dance floor! until now.”

jisung decides to skip over the fact that hyunjin has never expressed such desire to leave , instead, he feigns offense, “i thought you enjoyed dancing with me.”

“oh i do,” hyunjin cooes, “but parties are so _loud_. and we have them so often, so many birthdays in my family alone, plus weddings to attend, baby showers, and the annual christmas ball. i never thought i’d say it but i’m dreadfully tired of it all.”

“i must say i’m shocked to hear it.”

“imagine what my father would say, ‘a northerner who doesn’t enjoy a good party? how absurd.’.”

“well, you’ve never been one to be keen about responsibilities or following traditions or rules, expectations, and other things of the sort.”

“han jisung!” hyunjin gasps, punching him in the leg, “are you calling me lazy and— and well, not suitable to be a prince?”

“no darling, i’m calling you free spirited,” jisung corrects, fondly catching hyunjin’s hand in his own before he has the chance to pull away. it was already lingering after that punch anyway, surely he doesn’t mind, “it’s a compliment.”

hyunjin flops onto his back so he doesn’t have to look jisung in the eye, though he doesn’t attempt to take back his hand, “you have to stop saying such pretty things to me, prince jisung,” he whispers.

“i can’t and i won’t,” jisung declares triumphantly, leaning over to kiss the apple of hyunjin’s cheek, relishing in how hot his skin feels. it’s bolder than they usually allow themselves to be, but maybe the wine is doing something to his head because he doesn’t care, “a pretty boy deserves pretty words.”

hyunjin’s smile glows. and because jisung started his declaration with a strange, playful tone, he does the same, “oh, my prince,” he sighs dramatically, a hand to his forehead, eyes closed, “will you still love me if i am old and my hair has all fallen out? if i’m covered in wrinkles and i have no teeth?”

“that will never happen,” jisung deadpans. hyunjin peaks one eye open, his lips twitching,

“you never know,” he replies.

“well, if it does,” jisung is back in character and hyunjin shuts his eye again, “i promise to love you through it all! wrinkles or balding head, nothing could stop me from loving you!” jisung lunges for his neck, lips puckered as he makes wet kissing noises, trying to connect with a spot of skin. hyunjin, the most ticklish person across the four kingdoms, cries out as he wrestles jisung away from him in a fit of giggles.

“i hope we aren’t interrupting anything,” a low voice says, and jisung flies away from hyunjin immediately. changbin has always had a calm voice, it is rare he raises it or speaks with a warning behind his words. but they can both hear it now, how he doesn’t _hope_ they’re interrupting, instead he _tells_ them they better not be. he’s reminding them of their place.

“of course not,” hyunjin grins, making hands at yongbok who follows into the pagoda right on changbin’s tail. tipsy and shivering, yongbok happily plops down into hyunjin’s lap, letting him practically squeeze the life out of him in favor of some warmth.

“someone wanted to say goodnight,” jeongin says, coming in last with a bottle of champagne in one hand and the small hand of their nephew in the other. hyunjin lights up when he sees little hoseok waddle towards him.

“oh good night my little pumpkin!” hyunjin exclaims, shifting in such a way that has yongbok practically falling off of him, but he doesn’t care as his only goal is to give his nephew a hug. hoseok laughs loudly, holding onto hyunjin’s neck as he’s attacked with kisses, raspberries, and toothless nibbles at his squishy cheeks, “you cutie pie! i could eat you up!” jisung watches hyunjin fondly play with hoseok, thinking it’s wonderful that the kid has such amazing uncles, not just hyunjin, who love him so dearly. a small, tinge of jealousy twists jisung’s heart as he thinks with a faded mind that would know better if he was more sober, that he wishes he too had grown up in such a loving home.

princess hayoung reaches the door, holding her dress up above the snow. hyunjin looks up at her with glassy eyes as he realizes his niece isn’t with them, “where’s my sweet pea?” he asks as yongbok reaches across his lap to take the wine and help himself. in the north, drinking is encouraged past midnight at all events. they believe in balance: have a respectable evening of pleasantries and stiff posture and you are rewarded with more drink than can be found on a pirate’s ship. when they turn sixteen, kids are taught the proper way to handle their alcohol, they learn moderation, and being drunk in front of noblemen and kings doesn’t result in punishment. in the moments after midnight, everyone is equal. thus, hayoung doesn’t scold hyunjin for sneaking off to get drunk in the gardens, and she doesn’t care that yongbok is drinking in front of her son. this is normal here.

“she fell asleep just after the toast,” hayoung says, “but she wanted to tell you one more time that you looked pretty tonight,” one disapproving swipe over her brother’s appearance and she’s raising an eyebrow, “though now it seems you’ve been rolling around like pigs in here.”

hyunjin’s hands fly up to smooth down his hair, “we were doing no such thing,” he retorts, “my head hurt from all the pins so i took them out.”

“mhm,” hayoung doesn’t look like she entirely believes him, which no one can blame her for as hyunjin does have a track record of being one of the messiest, rowdiest princes to be born across all four kingdoms in a while, “come along hoseok, it’s bedtime.” hoseok gives hyunjin one more squeeze, dashes to jeongin to do the same, then runs to his mother’s side.

“goodnight!” he says, waving to them all and all four princes wave goodbye as they leave.

“where’s chan?” jisung asks as jeongin begins prying the top off the champagne.

“he’s getting cozy with lady siyeon,” yongbok says suggestively, “i’d be willing to bet they’re going to fuck tonight.”

“yongbok!” jeongin gasps.

“what?”

“language!”

“you know chan wouldn’t do that so early, they haven’t even started courting yet,” jisung says, moving to sit close to hyunjin now that yongbok has moved closer to changbin, cuddling into his side. sometimes, _most_ times, jisung is incredibly jealous of them. he knows the situation came about because of the tragedy that is changbin’s father falling horribly ill, but in a way he still thinks they are lucky. they got a pass on the training period rules. and while jisung doesn’t want his or hyunjin’s father to die, he can’t say he wouldn’t love to have changbin and yongbok’s pass. to be courting a certain someone well before he was supposed to.

“channie’s too romantic for something like that,” hyunjin says, “lady siyeon is lucky she caught his eye. she’ll be treated right.”

“we always knew he was going to pick her,” yongbok recalls, “he used to mention her, well before he turned twenty, he used to come into my room and we would gossip about pretty people. he mentioned her a lot. never too much, but now that he’s allowed to court her and has so obviously ruled out all the other options, i’m remembering just how much interest he’s shown in her in the past.”

“they’ll be a good couple,” jeongin hums with a chorus of agreement from the others.

they quickly polish off the alcohol and jeongin fishes cards out of the game chest. jisung has no idea what game they’re playing, and he has no idea who’s winning but he’d be willing to bet yongbok is, because with every round that passes his pile of breadcrumbs grows bigger and he cheers like he’s won all the money at the races. maybe they’re playing poker. despite not knowing what’s going on, he and hyunjin yell and groan and call him a cheat every time they loose, while changbin and jeongin sit clutching their stomachs as they laugh uncontrollably. at some point changbin falls over which only makes him laugh harder, jeongin’s eyes begin to tear up, and if anyone notices hyunjin progressively getting closer and closer to jisung they don’t mention it.

hyunjin ends up laying between his legs which gives jisung full access to the crown of hyunjin’s head where he places sneaky kisses one after the other. hyunjin doesn’t tell him to stop, no one else notices, and so he basks in this little freedom he’s been given. he can see hyunjin’s cards just as hyunjin can see his, a drawback of the way they’re sitting, but it comes in handy when hyunjin spots the straight in his hand just before he’s about to fold _again_ and someone finally beats yongbok. he cheers so enthusiastically — even though he wasn’t the one who won — that he accidentally jumps up and whacks jisung’s jaw with the top of his head, sending him falling backwards, wailing in agony.

“you’ve killed him!” changbin cries as he and the other two princes fill the pagoda with roaring laughter. hyunjin falls backwards on top of jisung, cradling his jaw and pressing millions of tiny little kisses all over,

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry,” he rambles between kisses and by the time he gives jisung one big, final kiss on the top of his chin, the eastern prince is smiling as if nothing happened, “there, better?”

“much,” jisung nods, eyes falling to hyunjin’s lips. they’re so soft. he wants to curse whoever made the ridiculous training rules, curse them and their entire family! hyunjin’s cheeks burn as red as the southern isle’s royal flags but he doesn’t look away, he doesn’t move, he doesn’t _do_ anything. torture.

“if you two are quite _done_ ,” yongbok calls with a hint of sarcastic annoyance, “some of us have a game to win.”

no one says anything about what just happened. they don’t get scolded, they don’t get warned or reminded of the rules that have been shoved down their throats since they turned sixteen. and hyunjin doesn’t distance himself when they sit up, even though perhaps it would be the smart thing to do. for all of these things, jisung is grateful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is gonna be a short story, probably just three chapters  
> pls leave some comments about your thoughts!! <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i didn't have to include the wedding scene, but i thought it was cute :]

weddings between a noble and a member of the royal family are grand affairs. but weddings between two royals from two different kingdoms are positively extravagant, naturally.

the days leading up to changbin and yongbok's wedding are hectic to say the least. regularly, there are weeks and weeks to prepare every decoration, every menu item, every little move anyone in the wedding party is to make and when. but changbin's father isn't doing well and he has already announced that he wishes to give his throne over before he passes, so that he can perhaps assist a little on changbin's first days as king, to see him wear the crown passed down from generation to generation. but they might not have that kind of time. so instead of planning a coronation, yongbok and changbin decide to move up the wedding. changbin will have yongbok there as his husband when he is crowned king, as is tradition, and his majesty king seo will have the chance to see his son get married. objectively a more emotional and important day of changbin's life.

this change leaves everyone scrambling to get things prepared. all the servants from both kingdoms are working around the clock, the wedding party —which includes hyunjin and jisung among other noblemen and women that are close friends of the groms— arrives a week in advance to go over how they will walk down the aisle, how they will exit, when they will join the grooms on the ballroom floor, signaling that it is now alright for anyone to dance should they so choose. by the end of the week jisung is exhausted and he wasn't the one tailoring outfits and setting out hundreds of chairs. not to mention he doesn't even have to do much on the big day so he smartly keeps any complaints about the aches in his feet to himself. he can't imagine how yongbok and changbin are feeling.

the day of jisung can't find a single hallway that isn't bustling with people running around and he tries to stay out of everyone's way as he wanders in search of hyunjin. finally, he runs into someone who seems to know who he's looking for without him even opening his mouth and is kindly pointed in the right direction. turns out, hyunjin is still getting his hair done and has yet to leave his guest chambers all morning. jisung suspects he overslept.

he knocks on the door before entering, stopped abruptly by one of the stylists who sees the way hyunjin lights up upon seeing his visitor and gives him an unamused look, "i'm sorry your highness but we can't be having any distractions."

"no please let him in madame!" hyunjin begs, "i promise he won't distract me! i'll sit as stiff as a board, i swear!" the woman looks back and forth between the two princes before caving with a silent drop of her head, gesturing for jisung to come into the room. hyunjin happily plops a plump grape into his mouth, watching jisung through the mirrors as he walks around all the workers to stand at the edge of the room and look over hyunjin's outfit for the day.

they can't outshine the grooms of course, but they are still royalty and are to be dressed to represent. while all other members of the wedding party are in matching colors — a burnt merigold of sorts to symbolize the unity between the two kingdoms, because while orange and green do not mix a pleasing color, yellow is between the two on the color wheel — he and hyunjin are in typical formal attire for their respective kingdoms.

for the northern prince this means classic, off-white trousers that fit slim to his long legs, a matching top that is laced up tight around his torso, corset style though without the breastplate and added tank-like straps that serve as the connection between the boning and billowing bishop sleeves of the same color. covering the top and the outside ankle of his pants there is slightly darker, cream embroidery that reminds jisung of the magical swirls of snow during a blizzard. he supposes that is the point. there is gold thread woven into the embroidery, just so much that if the light catches it shines, and attached to hyunjin's right breast is his family's crest. 

he looks stunning.

"are you done staring?" hyunjin asks innocently, making jisung blink out of his daze and scowl,

"i wasn't staring." if they were alone he wouldn't hesitate to tell hyunjin how beautiful he is. how the tailoring of the clothes are perfect for his body, how much he likes the simple way his hair is pulled back into a sleek ponytail with just two strands of hair to frame his face, how the gold shimmer around his eyelids brings out the warmth in his irises.

"of course not," hyunjin agrees. he sounds normal, almost teasing, but his eyes soften as if he can hear jisung's thoughts.

they walk down the aisle together, hyunjin's arm looped in his, they are the first pair of groomsmen to arrive at the altar. the others follow suit, walking down with their assigned partners before parting to stand on either yongbok or changbin's side of the room. then changbin starts coming forward and the people stand. he is alone as he approaches the altar. there is a little girl, whom jisung thinks is yongbok's cousin's daughter, and she prances through the cathedral throwing beautiful white rose petals onto the ground. the last person to enter is yongbok.

in the southern isle children are given away to their new spouses not by their parents, but by a close friend or sibling of their choosing. they say it makes the occasion feel less like a business deal and jisung supposes that in their world where arranged marriages are rare but not impossible, and some people would rather take their time instead of rushing into a marriage but are unable due to coronation traditions, it could help a little. naturally, yongbok chose chan.

they are both dressed in southern isle colors, though so as to not outshine his brother, chan is in a simple, coral suit. layers of ruffled lace go up his arms in replace of normal sleeves. he wears the family's crest in gold on his right breast, and there is dark brown liner rimming his eyes. and yongbok, well, he looks absolutely incredible.

he is wearing a traditional dress of sorts, tailored so that the top looks boxy like a suit, but on the bottom hangs a skirt that ends about knee length. running down the sides is the same material as the top 'suit' half, but in the middle is a layer of pretty coral lace laying over a more opaque gold fabric. his sleeves are long, lace, and kimono style, nearly touching the floor. he has a high collar and a ruffled gold cape so light and delicate that it can be held together with a single gold chain around yongbok's neck. his boots are tall and under his eyes sit two beautiful rubies to compliment the sunset of shadow around them. he smiles up at changbin like he's the luckiest person in the world and in this moment, he is.

when he reaches the front and the guests are given the signal to sit down, he is stopped by king seo who calls out to him, "yongbok, my boy," he holds out a weak hand. yongbok doesn't hesitate to take it and kneel in front of the king.

"yes, your majesty?"

"you look lovely."

"thank you, your majesty," yongbok whispers, bowing his head. the king gives his hand a squeeze and nods up to his son, who is watching the interaction with mixed emotions of sadness and joy. as yongbok takes changbin's hands, the priest begins.

jisung goes almost the whole ceremony watching yongbok's face, paying attention to the way he's smiling, the body language of the couple, the words coming out of the priest's mouth even though it's nothing he hasn't heard before, all to keep himself from looking at hyunjin instead. when they get to their vows he can't help himself. hyunjin is already staring his way.

they don't stop staring at each other. as changbin tells yongbok how much he loves him, as yongbok promises to be by his side in sickness and health as he rules, as they exchange rings, as they kiss in front of the world and the guests erupt in cheers. neither of them are paying attention. _imagine, that could be us my dear. one day._

later, while they are dancing, hyunjin holds jisung close and whispers low in his ear, "have i ever told you you look great in blue?" he says. jisung chuckles,

"i don't think you have."

"well i'll say it again then, to make sure you know," jisung can feel hyunjin smiling against his ear, "blue is most certainly your color, my prince. you look _dashing_."

"thank you," jisung murmurs, "you don't look too bad yourself."

"so much staring and all the compliment you give me is 'you don't look too bad'?" hyunjin teases. he leans back to glance at jisung once before continuing with his eyes at the floor and his voice just barely above a whisper so jisung has to strain his ears to hear, "i might have thought for a moment that maybe tonight was to be the night we broke every rule in the book."

he knows hyunjin will be his if he asks, _when_ he asks. it has always been an unspoken truth between them, they want each other, plain and simple. they've never talked about it and have no good reason as to why not but jisung has never been hung up on it. it's so easy with hyunjin that words sometimes seem like a waste of time. all of this is true and yet jisung falters, unsure of what to do or say in response to hyunjin's confession.

he's realizing now that even though he knows he has hyunjin's heart, he wants to hear it. in the back of jisung's mind, there is a corner where he shoves all his logical thoughts as they pertain to him and hyunjin's relationship. in that corner, is the ever present, looming reminder that for them it is much more complicated than waiting out their training period. this reminder has unconsciously kept jisung from doing and saying a lot of things that he can't take back, should there be no way to solve the bigger issue. now that it's out there in spoken word for the first time jisung's resolve is cracking.

he wants to hear hyunjin admit he's in love. he might be pretty clued in to hyunjin's desires because of the way his hands twitch whenever jisung moves away, or the way his eyes give away every emotion tormenting his pretty head —and more often than not what jisung sees in them is adoration, or the way he basks in the attention jisung gives him, smiling sweetly when he's called 'darling'. but for all the little things that tell jisung how hyunjin feels, what he wants is words. words, because he's never gotten them before. because they're solid and pure.

jisung stares until the northern prince will look at him, so he can see that there is so much more jisung wants to say but doesn't. he can't. instead he says, "remember where we are." because they are in public after all. hyunjin nods once, the song ends, and they're both being pulled away from each other by their respective parents who wish to introduce them to possible suitors. they both turn twenty this year.

_____

he can't say he isn't expecting this conversation. it's a month before his birthday and he knows he is expected to begin courting someone. his parents will want to know if he's made any progress. he's lucky they haven't started pestering him about it sooner as just the thought of talking through the big issue with hyunjin makes his stomach churn.

"son," king han begins over dinner, "i wonder if tonight you might tell me and your mother what you've been thinking as you've gotten to know the ladies of the court over the past few months? you don't need to have a decision by your birthday but it would be wise to not wait so long."

sometimes jisung forgets that his parents don't really know much about him, "actually father, i've not been paying attention to the ladies," he says, dipping his spoon in and out of his soup over and over as watching it drip is much more interesting than this conversation, "i never have." 

it takes a moment, but his father catches his drift and promptly adjusts his wording, "any noblemen, then?" he doesn't make it a big deal and for that jisung smiles to himself. but his mother misreads his expression and gasps happily,

"you've found someone haven't you? do tell us jisung." he glances up, looking between the both of them. there's no use in lying.

"hyunjin," he says. the silence that fills the dining hall is suffocating. jisung settles his eyes on his father who looks frustrated and upset. he knows why. as much as he wishes the thoughts running around his father's head were of the nature that would suggest he is simply close minded or uncaring, that isn't the case so jisung can't be mad.

"king hwang's boy?" his mother asks, just to be sure they are talking about the same person. jisung nods. he's a little surprised she's thinking about this as something she never considered before. hyunjin told him once that his father asked if he and jisung 'had anything to tell him'. after that, and their friends constantly telling them to knock it off when they got too close, he figured everyone with eyes already knew how they felt.

"no," the king says, "anyone but him."

"seungwoo!" his mother gasps, "what's the matter? prince hyunjin is a lovely boy!"

"he is heir to the northern throne!" that's it. that's the issue. and if they were smart, they wouldn't have let their emotions grow this much, "jisung is our only child and i will not allow him to marry into another family!" he barks. the king turns to jisung with rage building in his eyes as he imagines the horror of jisung leaving their family, "you will not end the han rule in the eastern kingdom just because of a boy! a reckless, disrespectful, troublemaker of a boy no doubt!"

"and if he were to give up his right to the throne?" jisung suggests, challenging his father with a raised eyebrow. he decides it's best if he ignores the jab at hyunjin's character. for now.

"two hwang children before him have already gone and given up their rights for a marriage outside of the nobility," king han spits, "do you really think king hwang is going to allow a third child of his to do the same? even if you are royalty, do you think he will so easily back down and give his second son to another family? he will have only one heir left and what's to say prince jeongin isn't already thinking of marrying out as well? _he_ isn't the heir, _he_ can do that if he wants and if he does then the hwang rule is over in the northern kingdom. it's the same thing that happened with their older siblings," he pauses, looking down at his dinner and picking at it angrily. sometimes jisung forgets his father is a self absorbed man. he doesn't notice that king hwang is kind and only wants happiness for his children. if he didn't, he wouldn't have allowed hayoung and jinyoung to leave their heirship to their younger brothers in the first place. but jisung says nothing so his father continues, "besides, how do you know prince hyunjin would do such a thing for you? do you really think he would give up his family name, his crown, all for you?"

"i like to think i know him, father," jisung says evenly, "no, i don't know that he would do that, but i know he would be open to a proper, civil discussion on the subject. i think having such a discussion would be the bare minimum, no? instead of us sitting here assuming things about him." his father stays silent for a long, painful minute.

"it would be wise for you to find someone else, jisung," he says quietly.

"i can't do that."

"why not?" his temper is back, "is it so much to ask that you consider the kingdom for _once_ and stop trying to make everything so difficult?"

"do you want me to be unhappy?" jisung yells, matching his father's volume. he is met with eyes darker than night, burning with a fury he hasn't seen since he was a child. he tries not to think of repercussions and stands his ground. for hyunjin, "you don't think i _know_ about all that one of us would have to give up to make it work? you don't think i've thought about it every day that i've been in love with him?" his mother lets a gasp escape her lips upon hearing him admit he's in love and jisung hates that he didn't get to say it to hyunjin first, "i _know_ , father, we both do! why is it so much to ask that we sit down with him and king hwang and just talk about it? if it turns out that he won't leave his kingdom for me then fine, but we won't know that until we ask him! why are you so against a conversation?"

"jisung is right seungwoo," his mother finally speaks up, a soft, rational voice to calm both of them down, "we can have them for dinner, or we can request they stay an extra few days after jisung's birthday and we can talk about it. there's no reason not to." his father looks at her, so obviously swayed by her gentle eyes.

"if he declines," the king starts, "do you promise that you won't go running off to his side? that you will stay here, find someone else, and continue our lineage?" jisung swallows thickly upon imagining his life without hyunjin by his side. it brings a bitter taste to his tongue.

"i promise," he whispers. he knows there is still a chance that he and hyunjin can be together and happy, but as he excuses himself to find solace alone in his room, he feels a weight in his chest like he's sold a part of himself to the devil.

_____

"if i had known you were going to ask to see me i would've stayed in my clothes," hyunjin jokes softly, "i'm hardly dressed to be in the presence of a prince." jisung looks up at him from the bed. he sets his book down, not that he was really reading it anyway, and slowly starts walking towards hyunjin. the latter stays where he is, back against the door.

"i'm dressed no better than you," jisung points out, as they are both in loose sleep clothes. he thinks perhaps hyunjin like this, just himself with nothing but a few pieces of fabric to cover his back, is the most beautiful side of hyunjin he's ever seen.

"actually i'm glad you sent for me," hyunjin says, pushing off the door and digging around in his pocket, "i got you something but i..." his voice waivers, "i didn't have time to give it to you earlier." he stops inches away from jisung and takes one of his hands. he drops something cool into his palm and when he looks down he sees a thin gold chain, at the end, a crystal snowflake catching light from the lamp in the corner of jisung's room.

"oh, hyunjin," he's breathless, "you didn't have to..." giving personal gifts to friends or siblings is uncommon across all four kingdoms. only lovers exchange gifts like this. they both know that.

"i know," hyunjin whispers, "but i wanted to," he wishes hyunjin would look at him. instead, the blond takes the necklace back, unclasps it, wrapping his arms around jisung's neck, "i thought... well you get snow here too so maybe it isn't as sentimental as if i were to give the same thing to a southern or western prince but... but i..."

the charm falls to jisung's skin, so light between his collarbones that he can barely feel it. hyunjin goes to move back, but is stopped short when jisung grabs hold of his shirt to keep him close. finally hyunjin's eyes fly open, meeting his.

it takes him a moment to find his words. then, "today's my birthday," he says.

"your twentieth," hyunjin adds.

it's silly. jisung has waited years for this birthday and suddenly, now, he has no words. he brings a hand up to hyunjin's cheek, cradling it gently in the palm of his hand. hyunjin's cheeks are burning. part of jisung wants to send him back to his room. he wants to be a little more patient and ask hyunjin to be his the proper way, the way he deserves. but the tension between them in this moment is too much to bare, their waiting and longing, years of silent suffering, can end right now without a formal question asked between them, without a real date or approval from their families. this isn't like all those princes and princesses who came before them who kept their eyes on their training until their twentieth birthday. this is emotion that's been brewing for years.

"hyunjin..." he wants to make sure this is okay. he knows hyunjin, he can see in his eyes that this is okay, but he needs to hear it and yet again the words, the questions, he's been thinking for years get lost and he can't finish his question.

"please," hyunjin whispers, "please jisung, please, i'm yours, let me be yours." he barely gets his words out without slipping up, lips tumbling over them as they rush to be in the air between them, real and audible, the affirmation jisung's looking for.

then before hyunjin can take a breath jisung captures his lips. _finally, finally, finally_.

the floodgates are open but it's not enough. hands in his hair, push on his lips, saliva between their tongues. it's not enough. so jisung's hands wander underneath hyunjin's shirt to grip hard at the soft, heated skin of his sides. he explores hyunjin's torso, making him laugh breathlessly into jisung's mouth when his touch is too light and coincidentally it tickles. it's still not enough.

having hyunjin beneath him like this feels like a dream. it's dizzying and intense, his skin feels like it's on fire but hyunjin holds him close like he's not afraid to get burned. the charm hyunjin gave him dangles prettily from his neck, swaying with every rock of his hips. in the back of his mind jisung wishes he had one for hyunjin, so he could see it laid out daintily across the sheen of sweat covering his chest. or maybe the chain would spill back onto the sheets, the charm caught on the dip in hyunjin's throat. it would look almost like a tag, a mark, a label, so perfectly placed front and center for everyone to see. _his._

when hyunjin finishes he whines and squirms, his eyebrows knot together and he throws his head back deep into the pillows. he's holding onto jisung's back for dear life. he whispers raunchy words into jisung's ear, words jisung has no idea how he knows, and he says them with such loving care that it begins to sound like he's practiced them on his pillow so when the moment came he wouldn't slip up. he's coaxing jisung to the edge with him begging him to fall. he isn't afraid, how could he be when hyunjin is staring up at him like _that_? no, he's eager for it, chasing, chasing, chasing. and when he does finally let go hyunjin's right there, kissing him through it until their bodies feel like lead but still they muster up the energy to continue the languid push and pull. lips on lips, hands in jisung's hair, messy and slow. back to the beginning again, except this time no longer are they the northern and eastern princes getting sweet relief. they are hyunjin and jisung: lovers.

jisung manages to get hyunjin to sit up. he won't allow his darling ice prince to sleep in a soiled bed no matter how much he says he doesn't care. hyunjin crawls onto his lap, arms around his neck once more (that seems to be his favorite place to put them) and for a long moment neither of them speak. then jisung leans forward and kisses the tip of hyunjin's nose.

"thank you," he says, catching hyunjin off guard.

"what?"

"for the necklace," jisung clarifies, smirking as hyunjin's face contorts into annoyance, because _that's_ the first thing he says after they have sex for the first time? "i never thanked you earlier."

"i think you've given me thanks enough."

"oh, no, that wasn't for the necklace," jisung tells him. hyunjin smiles mischievously,

"no?" he asks.

"no," jisung shakes his head, "that was just because."

"because...?" jisung dips his head just a hair, ghosting over his lips,

"because you," he dips further, nose against hyunjin's jaw, "are the most," he leaves a single kiss, "beautiful," a second kiss just a touch higher, "person," a third, "i've ever met," hyunjin gasps as jisung drags his lips up his jaw, stopping with his nose next to hyunjin's ear, "and i would gladly take you to bed whenever you wanted," he leaves a kiss next to the tragus of hyunjin's ear and pulls back enough to see hyunjin's face. he looks lost in a fog of passion, completely enamored, "i love you," jisung tells him. the words are foreign to his tongue, but they fit perfectly in the space between them like they were always supposed to be there.

and once again, jisung already knows hyunjin's going to return his words, but even so it brings a rush of sudden joy to his chest when hyunjin doesn't hesitate to cup his cheek and press a faint kiss to his lips, "i love you more, my prince."

_____

jisung knows the moment his father clears his throat that they made a mistake. he can't believe he had been so foolish to forget the reason hyunjin stayed over last night, so foolish to forget that if hyunjin refused to give up his throne for jisung, it would have been the first and last time they got to enjoy each other's company. as he promised. _you idiot._

it would burn in their memories for the rest of their lives and jisung knew, for him at least, that would mark the last time he was truly happy. not to mention what hyunjin would think of him once king han brought the subject up. did jisung sleep with him so he would agree to leave the northern kingdom? was he exploiting his feelings, using him as a pawn in some game of ulterior motives?

it's not true. but jisung can't say he will blame hyunjin if that is what he thinks. it's not like hyunjin hasn't known about this too and surely he knew it was coming at some point, but jisung knows in this context, the unfortunate timing of their confessions plus the inherent nature of his father to be blunt with his words, it might look bad. suddenly jisung feels sick. he can't look at hyunjin out of fear that he will see pain there when the question is asked. pain that is directed at him, that he caused because he had been so eager that he failed to think about the possible consequences.

"well, i'm sure you're wondering why we've asked you to stay and we thank you for accepting our hospitality," king han begins, "i won't drag this out, i know you cannot spend hours at this table which is why we arranged for such an early dinner in the first place," the older folks humor him with polite chuckles amongst themselves. jisung keeps his spine so straight it's beginning to tense and hurt, and his eyes stay trained on his plate, still too cowardly to look across the table, "as we all know, my son has just turned twenty. as i'm sure you have done with your other children, king hwang, we had a talk with him about possible suitors for him to pursue."

"i usually plan to speak to my children two days after their birthday," king hwang offers with a nod, "you know, the day of is quite busy as it is, throwing parties and of course, i want them to enjoy their day before diving back into work." he's avoiding a rather precise word that would explain why they don't do much on their birthdays in the north. hangover. king han has never approved of the northern celebrations but nods in agreement with a twisted grin like he's got king hwang trapped, like everything's a competition and he's winning.

"of course," king han sneers, "my wife and i discussed such matters with jisung a month ago," he sounds so proud, "he told us he would like to court your son."

only then does jisung look up, moving just his eyes as he catches a glimpse at hyunjin's face —he's trying to hold back a smile, and then to king hwang who jisung thought might be happy, if the way he's outwardly encouraged their relationship in the past has anything to say about it, but instead he looks annoyed. it's not a good look for such a kind king like him, "do you always speak for your son, king han?" he asks.

"of course not," his father scoffs, "he is to be king, yes? he has to know how to speak for himself."

"then may i ask why he did not come to me personally to talk about his future with hyunjin?" king hwang presses, "under normal circumstances a family discussion such as this would happen at a later date, while the person in question, in this case jisung, would go speak to the father of whoever he intends to court by himself."

"i understand, king hwang, however this is not a normal circumstance," here it comes. jisung wishes he could look away, focus somewhere else, but he can't. hyunjin either doesn't notice him staring or doesn't care, he politely watches king han as he speaks, "our sons are both heirs. you know what this means, yes? if we are to allow them to see each other and this develops into something promising, one of them will have to give up their throne for the other," jisung, against his better judgment, spares a glance at king hwang. he is slow to realize quite what king han is implying but jisung watches his eyebrows bunch together in real time, his ears growing red as he fixes his father with a terrible glare. he lets him continue, "when jisung expressed his desire to have your son, of course, i had no objections except the one little detail that he is my only child. you should know well enough how this all works king hwang. i can't allow him to marry out of this kingdom and with that in mind i told him he would have to find someone else. but he convinced me to have a chat with the both of you." for the first time king hwang addresses hyunjin, sweeping his eyes up and down twice before continuing to ignore him.

there is a hush in the dining hall. jisung's mother, who quietly continued eating throughout her husbands long and quite directionless explanation as to what they are doing there, directionless seeing as he hasn't come out and said it yet like jisung thought he might, is now sitting unmoving with her head down. hyunjin's face is blank, for once his eyes don't give him away, chilling jisung to the core as he looks at him and for the first time in his life he doesn't see love reflected back at him, and at the other end of the table, king hwang pushes his plate away to rest his hands, clasped tightly, in front of him.

"first of all, king han," hyunjin's father begins, staring at the runner in the center of the table, "hyunjin is not a piece of _meat_. you will not use language such as jisung wanting to ' _have him_ ' and you will certainly not be doing it in front of him." jisung feels hot embarrassment wash over him because king hwang is right, his father shouldn't be talking about hyunjin like that. at least he wasn't afraid to call him out on it.

"my apolo—"

"furthermore, i think it would be wise if you were to say just exactly what you want to get from this meeting. i know you king han and i'm not only surprised, but i'm a little offended that you don't tell us directly."

"well, if i am to allow jisung to pursue hyunjin, i must have hyunjin's word that he will leave the northern kingdom, in the event they wish to get married. you will still have an heir but if jisung leaves my kingdom i will be forced to pass the crown to someone worthy, but not royalty."

"we are discussing the same thing, yes?"

"forgive me i don't understand what you mean."

"i hear 'father, i wish to be with this person' and i become aware that the conversation is about my child's happiness and future. it seems that you hear the same sentence and your mind goes to wondering how you can keep power in your own kingdom if your only child is interested in another royal who threatens that," his father is holding his utensils so hard his knuckles are turning white. jisung thinks this might be the first time someone of equal status is talking back to him. he shares a look with his mother, "it is completely outrageous to me that you would care more about keeping jisung here then allowing him to follow the natural course of being in love with someone and making the decision of whose last name he has at the end of his wedding day for himself!" this isn't going well.

"boys, why don't you discuss this amongst yourselves?" jisung's mother suggests sweetly, giving her husband a warning look that dares him to oppose, "this is your future after all so go on, have a chat in private. we'll likely still be here when you're finished."

hyunjin doesn't look as depressed by the time they get to jisung's room, but he still doesn't look pleased. he crosses his arms and doesn't go further than the door frame, fixing jisung with a hard stare. "what the hell was that?"

"i forgot," jisung says, no use hiding the truth, "i swear, i forgot, i woke up this morning and remembered but i didn't know how to tell you! would you have preferred i sprung that on you as soon as you woke up? 'hey i know i just told you i love you _and_ we had sex but if you don't agree to my father's conditions then i'm actually going to need you to pretend it didn't happen because i'm an idiot and i forgot the whole reason you stayed over was to have that discussion so i jumped on the chance to finally be with you and now because of that i've probably just messed it all up!'." jisung takes a deep, shaking breath, stilling his dramatic hands and meeting hyunjin's eyes. he doesn't look as mad, "i know what it might look like hyunjin," jisung says slowly, "but i promise you i didn't want to talk about it. i— well i did want to talk about it but only because if i didn't push for a discussion then my father was just going to force me to find someone else. i wanted to try, at the very least, and as power is all he cares about this was my only option to keep the little bit of the relationship we had alive."

"i'm sorry," hyunjin says dejectedly after a moment, walking closer.

jisung swears his heart stops. is hyunjin about to tell him they're over before they've barely had a chance to begin? "for what?" he asks, trying to keep his voice level.

"i shouldn't have assumed you were trying to catch me off guard at a vulnerable moment. i know you, i know you genuinely love me, i've always known that. it was unfair of me to think that last night meant nothing to you," hyunjin's in front of him now, gently putting his hands on jisung's hips, "i know it did."

"it did," jisung agrees, exhaling a shallow breath of relief over hyunjin's lips, "it really did, darling." hyunjin cracks a tiny smile and indulges him in a brief kiss.

"so, what exactly does your father want?"

jisung sighs, "he asked me at dinner if i had my eyes on anyone. i was honest and i told them that i wanted to court you. my mother seemed excited, but my father... he called you some ridiculous things—"

"like what?"

"like a reckless troublemaker."

"two things i am," hyunjin admits with a cheeky grin, "i suppose i can't get mad at him for telling the truth."

jisung rolls his eyes and continues to relay the conversation up until the part where he promised he wouldn't run away to the north if it came to that and he pauses, stuttering over his words and eventually just giving up to pull away from hyunjin and face the window. he takes a moment to inhale long and deep, pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes to keep them from tearing up. he knows this won't make hyunjin happy. even if he's been surprisingly okay with everything else jisung's telling him, listening intently and with empathy in his eyes, this might be where hyunjin's resolve breaks. it's not fair to jisung to force him to stay here, and it's not fair to hyunjin who has been in love with him just as long but also has a duty to his father and kingdom. it's not fair for the two of them to be manipulated and denied happiness because of one, bitter old man. god, why is jisung such an idiot?

hyunjin joins him, stepping in front so jisung is forced to look at him. he sits in the windowsill seat, leaning back against the glass — with more bravery then jisung will ever have as his room is on the third floor and from this window it's a straight drop down into a pile of rose bushes — he pulls on jisung's hands until he's standing in between hyunjin's legs, looking down at him.

"what is it?" hyunjin asks, giving him a look he doesn't think he deserves right now, a look of worry and love, patience and care. how did he get so lucky?

"why am i being controlled by him?" jisung wonders aloud, "i've always known he was a king first and a father second but this? it's not only horrible it's just plain stupid! i'm an adult but i still feel like he controls me!" he rages, lifting his narrowed eyes out the window like the clouds or the faint outline of the moon are responsible for his current grievances, "i mean, for christ's sake i _just_ turned twenty, we _just_ got together and we're already talking about who's last name we'll share? why can't he just let us enjoy the moment? and what does it matter if the han family ends here? and how does he know i'd be a better king then any of his advisors who have been doing this for years? or— or what if we decided to screw tradition and get married after our coronations?" he knows he must sound insane but he just can't stop. his father hasn't made him this angry in years and this time it's for something actually important which only adds fuel to the fire, "then this wouldn't be a problem! we'd both be kings like we're supposed to and we'd technically be together. there's a lot of rules, but most of them aren't actually written somewhere so why are we still following them? i'm just so _tired_ of rules!"

"well," hyunjin starts very quietly, "i think i would miss you too much if we were married but off ruling our own kingdoms." he wraps himself around jisung's middle, holding tight like any second he might disappear.

jisung takes a breath before nearly folding himself in half to kiss the top of hyunjin's hair, "i know, i would miss you too," he whispers, unmoving.

hyunjin moves, untangling him from the other prince to gaze up at him with an unreadable expression, "just, let me talk to jeongin before talk about this potential marriage issue goes any further," he requests, "okay?" jisung can't do anything but agree with a silent nod and hope whatever he needs to talk to jeongin about will help push them towards their own happy ending, regardless of what that may look like. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more chapter to go!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is! the final chapter! it's a little shorter than the other parts but i think it's wrapped up nicely :)

hyunjin puts it off for three months.

he catches jeongin in the mid morning as he’s enjoying his breakfast. he’s on the bed with a book open next to his tray of food that he’s keeping open with his left hand while the right holds his chopsticks. whether because he doesn’t want to interrupt his reading or because he’s so into his book that he forgot he was eating, he doesn’t move to get more food, instead he’s just holding the utensils up like it’s a pipe.

“jeongin?” hyunjin calls softly, “can i talk to you?” his twin jolts, looking up with owlish eyes and it takes him a moment to register the question but then he nods,

“of course.” he moves around while hyunjin’s making his way across the room. his book is closed and on the nightstand and he’s now cradling his tray in his lap, continuing to eat now that he has less of a distraction. hyunjin’s too anxious to sit on the space jeongin made for him though, so he stays standing with his hands clasped together. “what’s on your mind?”

“may i be honest with you?” jeongin pauses. he slowly swallows the strawberry he was chewing and once again abandons his breakfast so he can give hyunjin the appropriate amount of attention. clearly he can sense this is a serious conversation but hyunjin doesn’t know if he prefers this to the alternative where jeongin isn’t staring at him. he has half a mind to not tell him to go back to eating, to pretend this isn’t as serious as it is just for the sake of his shaking hands.

“of course you can,” jeongin says.

“i don’t… i don’t think i’m right for the throne.” hyunjin waits for a reaction. he gets nothing more than a few blinks and a slightly confused furrow of the eyebrows. so he continues, fiddling with the hem of his night shirt, “i don’t think i ever have been. and it’s not just about the fact that i find politics a bore, and everyone would probably agree i’m the worst behaved prince this nation has had in a long time —not for a lack of trying i just… god, i don’t know, i’ve tried to imagine it, me a king, but i can’t. it doesn’t sit right.” he pauses to take a deep breath and looks away. “i’ve been thinking about it a lot. for years, jeongin, this isn’t just a brash thought because i got bad marks on my last two tests. this has been stirring since we started training. i just don’t want to be king.” jeongin doesn’t say anything, leaving a heavy silence between them that gnaws at hyunjin’s gut and starts to tell him this was a mistake. “please say something,” he begs with a whisper.

jeongin seems to snap out of whatever thoughts had him trapped in his own mind with a few blinks and a soft smile up towards hyunjin’s distressed figure. he slides off the bed to give hyunjin a firm hug, “i was just thinking.” he leans back to hold hyunjin out at an arms length, “but there’s something else isn’t there? what’s this really about?”

hyunjin sighs and jeongin pulls him to the bed, forcing him to take a seat. jeongin keeps a tight, loving grip on his hands as he explains everything. from how he and jisung kept it together for years to jisung’s birthday when they confessed, to the next morning when king han had been so rude as to put an ultimatum on them after only moments into their relationship. he tells jeongin about how patient jisung has been, assuring him through their letters that he will wait as long as hyunjin needs even though his father has been growing more and more impatient by the minute (hyunjin feels bad jisung has had to deal with him every day while he sat around until the last minute to finally figure this out).

he tells jeongin about the future he imagines for himself when he closes his eyes and slips into a daydream. it’s a future where he doesn’t have the responsibilities of a king and so he can roam free as a bird without shoes or a crown or personal guards weighing him down. he lives in a palace filled with beautiful greenery and blossoms that can’t grow in the north, and by his side is jisung, of course, with whom he shares a bed with each night and each morning, wrapped tight in his arms, with whom he laughs and feels overwhelming love for. sometimes he imagines that they have adopted a child, sometimes he thinks he would prefer it was just the two of them for the rest of their days, but the baseline stays the same: hyunjin is not a king, and instead he is just a consort. he lives with jisung in the east and they are happy together.

“tomorrow is our birthday,” hyunjin tells him, “which means you’re allowed to find someone to court as much as i am and as much as i know father wants us to be happy, i hate the idea of us all leaving him.”

“he’d like to see one of us follow him,” jeongin agrees with a low murmur.

“we can’t be like hayoung and jinyoung,” hyunjin adds, “this is as much about your future as it is mine.” their older siblings hadn’t spoken about their plans to marry outside of the royal family before they were respectively already in love and engaged to their own partners. when hayoung first turned twenty she hadn’t been interested in courting anyone and their father didn’t push her to. when jinyoung turned twenty a year later, he too expressed that he had no interest in courting anyone. however, he was lying. he’d been meeting with a girl from the village who worked at a lovely little bakery the castle often ordered pastries from. their interactions were similar to jisung and hyunjin’s whenever jinyoung could get away to visit her without anyone following him: lots of longing stares and flirting behind closed doors, always abiding by the rules until jinyoung turned twenty. he didn’t say anything to the family about her for fear that their father would be unsupportive of his love for a common woman.

finally, hayoung found someone she fancied when she turned twenty-two. unlike jinyoung, she told their father right away, marching up to him and telling him that she wanted to court him and that if he didn’t support that she was going to continue to see him anyway. their father had just laughed and asked her to bring him for dinner soon so he could meet this mystery man who had hold of his daughter’s heart. after meeting him, jinyoung finally came clean about his relationship too and just like he had with hayoung, their father simply asked that he bring her for dinner. by the time both of them had shared the news with the family, neither of them could bare the thought of leaving their partners for someone in the nobility just for the sake of keeping a throne. king hwang encouraged both of them to follow their hearts, whether it told them to stay and keep their heirship or give it up to their younger brothers. both chose the latter.

hyunjin still remembers the suspicious feeling of dread creeping up his spine during his brother’s wedding when it became official that he was no longer allowed to take the throne and the responsibility fell to hyunjin.

“may i be honest with you as well?” jeongin asks, “since we’re talking about this?”

“of course.”

“admittedly, when it ended up that you were to be king, i was jealous. i went to minho and i ranted about how i thought it should be me because i cared about politics and studying and i didn’t sneak out in the middle of the night and i didn’t whine for hours during defense practice or dancing lessons.” hyunjin grins sheepishly. “back then i might’ve behaved better than you, but i was immature. for a time i disliked you. i always thought you were the favorite because you got everything you asked for and even things you didn’t, you did whatever you wanted and no one _really_ told you off for it, meanwhile no one was praising me for following all the rules and being a good student.” jeongin takes a moment to put a hand on hyunjin’s cheek, “even though i never told you, i am sorry for thinking ill of you. you may be a bit foolish,” hyunjin snorts, “but you’re my brother and i love you so much.”

“i love you too.”

jeongin sits up a little straighter, looking down with his hands in his lap, “the point that i was trying to get to is will gladly take the throne from you if you choose to marry jisung. i think i could do well at it if i had the chance. and i hope i sound sincere because i’d hate for you to believe i’m saying this to be greedy or to satisfy that idiot teenager of my past who wanted nothing more than to be better than you, because that’s not the case. if you really, truly don’t want the throne, i will gladly it when you get married. you deserve to be happy hyunjin. don’t let these worries about me force you to stay here and be miserable.” he smiles gently but hyunjin doesn’t budge just yet.

“but what about your love life? sure, you’re enthusiastic about being king but so were jinyoung and hayoung, and even still they gave it up.”

“i _just_ told you not to worry!” jeongin laughs, “i’ll be okay, hyunjin. even with a narrowed pool of people to choose from, i’m sure i will find someone who makes me happy the way jisung makes you happy.”

“you’re sure?” hyunjin asks. he feels tears pricking his eyes and his chest could burst but he just has to know jeongin’s certain about this.

“i promise.” jeongin holds out his pinky but hyunjin ignores it and throws his arms around jeongin’s neck instead, hugging him tight.

“thank you,” he whispers, making jeongin’s neck wet with a few droplets of happy tears.

“oh hyunjin,” jeongin laughs, “please don’t cry, you’re supposed to be happy!”

“i am!” hyunjin insists, pulling away to wipe his face and muster up a watery smile, “i am, i promise.”

by the time their birthday ball rolls around hyunjin is more than excited to see jisung again. they haven’t spent much time together over the past three months. during lessons they still aren’t allowed to dote and fawn over each other, out of respect for the others and their instructor. but they’ve gone on a few proper dates since jisung’s birthday; a lovely picnic high in the eastern mountains, a day at the arts and music festival in the south, and another wonderful night in the east watching the first snow fall from the comfort of jisung’s bed. the last time they properly saw each other was halloween. now that he was twenty, jisung’s parents finally allowed him to go to the north’s lavish party by himself. there, he and hyunjin snuck out with masks and regular clothes, to spend their night among the people on the streets, eating too many sweets and getting too drunk on confusing concoctions of fruit and liquor that were set out for anyone to drink from.

like every year, hyunjin stands way off to the side, waiting for jisung to approach him. for once he feels dreadfully hot in his long sleeved clothing, burning with nervous energy and only a paper fan in his hand to ease his reddening skin. this time, everything’s different. this time he doesn’t have to wait until midnight for jisung, they don’t have to sneak away, hyunjin doesn’t have to mingle with the guests who he knows have all been not-so-subtly trying to sneak their way into his heart for years. this time, he can proudly tell them he’s spoken for. he’s not technically supposed to tell them who he’s courting until his father makes an announcement, but really, if they’re going to ask, hyunjin thinks it would be rude to lie.

he looks away from the door for a moment when a servant comes up to him, offering a drink and asking if there is anything he needs as apparently he looks tense. then, when he’s assured the servant he’s fine and looks back to the crowd in the ballroom, he finds a fast moving splash of navy coming right for him. his whole body sighs in relief. he doesn’t have to hide his smile anymore when he sees jisung coming up to him, but he tries to anyway, just to be coy. truthfully he’s doing a terrible job at keeping his cool, jisung can see right through him, he knows it, and he almost swoons —only stopping himself because of all the people around— when jisung swiftly takes his free hand and plants a kiss on the back of his palm. he fans himself a little harder.

“happy birthday, my darling,” jisung murmurs, low enough for only him to hear. he produces a little, black, velvet box, opening it to show off a dainty necklace just like the snowflake one hyunjin gave to him —jisung’s suit has a low v-neck that puts the necklace on full display and hyunjin thinks this is the first time he’s so proudly worn it for everyone to see. “there’s nothing particularly special about the eastern mountains,” jisung jokes, “so i thought this might be the next best thing.”

“nonsense,” hyunjin tells him, caressing a few fingers over the crystal charm. it’s in the shape of a heart. perhaps if it was a first from anyone else hyunjin might think it to be tacky, but now he just finds his knees weak at the gesture, “you live there. that makes it special.”

jisung laughs and begins the process of getting the necklace out of the box and around hyunjin’s neck. “how sweet of you to say.”

“it’s just the truth, prince jisung,” hyunjin replies simply. jisung looks up into hyunjin’s eyes with a wide smile, fingers paused after just undoing the tiny metal clasp.

“you’re terribly charming, you know that?”

hyunjin nods, grabbing lightly at jisung’s top as if he had been planning to pull him in for a kiss, only to remember halfway into the act that they were in public and it wouldn’t be such a good idea to be so affectionate with each other until they are officially announced by their parents. instead, hyunjin just steps a little closer, holding tighter on the fabric as he hums, “i do, but you can tell me again if you like.”

jisung just shakes his head fondly and plants a kiss on hyunjin’s cheek, whispering, “i love you.” into his skin. his gentle hands stay on hyunjin’s nape even after he’s finished putting the jewelry on.

“i love you more, my prince,” hyunjin replies. they’re so close it takes all his effort not to kiss him square on the lips and then drag him out of the ballroom for some time alone. or run to the top of the stairs at the back of the ballroom to declare his love at the top of his lungs. it would be the most careless thing he’s ever done and the scary part is hyunjin doesn’t even think he cares what would come as punishment for such behavior. his mind is just, jisung, jisung, _jisung_. he catches his father’s eye just past jisung’s head. his lips crack into a tiny, approving smile.

“what are you thinking about?” jisung asks.

“i spoke with jeongin this morning.”

jisung looks apprehensive. “and?”

“he’s going to take the throne,” hyunjin tells him breathlessly, “i’m going to agree to your father’s terms. i’ll leave the northern valley when we get married.” jisung’s eyes soften ten fold and he leans up just the touch that hyunjin has on him in height. for a moment he thinks jisung is going to kiss him, but instead is met with a light brush on his nose that he returns eagerly.

“are you sure?” jisung asks, his breath tickling hyunjin’s skin and lips.

“of course i am,” he dares to press their lips together just for a brief moment that leaves him dizzily yearning for more, but is nonetheless searing with all the certainty he’s ever felt, just to prove it. “i’ve always been sure.”

“has anyone seen my children?” hyunjin’s father’s voice booms over the crowd. he doesn’t pull away from jisung right away. he knows people might be looking now that they’ve been given an indirect order to hunt for his face among them, and he doesn’t care if they do. he isn’t done here. 

“go,” jisung insists, “we can talk later.”

hyunjin nods reluctantly. “i love you, jisung.”

jisung graces him with a kiss on the tip of his nose, then presses their foreheads together, “i know. and i love you, my dear.”

hyunjin leaves at once, winding his way through the crowd, leaving jisung alone at the edge of the party. he begins to make his way towards his own father, who he spots on the other end of the ballroom speaking with changbin who is nearly a king himself now. his father is likely offering a casual invitation to write to him any time he should need help with anything at all. jisung thinks that though it is the right thing to do and he appreciates that his father is promising to look out for his friend, that it’s utterly ridiculous for his father to think that changbin needs _his_ help. he’s had king hwang and king bang on his side for years because they, unlike him, have a relationship with him that goes beyond politics. never before has jisung felt such an intense desire to take over for his father as king and end this ‘strong, brooding eastern king’ facade his family has been perpetuating for years.

“ladies and gentlemen, nobles of the northern valley court and all our royal friends, it is with great pleasure that i present to you my sons, jeongin and hyunjin, as we are gathered here to celebrate their twentieth birthday!” the guests all around jisung raise their glasses and as he has nothing to drink, jisung opts to just get a good, long look at hyunjin standing by his father’s side. his beautiful hyunjin all dressed up for his birthday, pure happiness shining in his eyes, and the little, crystal piece of jisung’s heart hanging low in the center of his chest. a vision of a human, all for him to have and hold.

he begins moving again before hyunjin can spot him. “i hope that you continue to treat them well and i thank each and every one of you here tonight, from our neighboring kings and queens, to our servants working hard to keep us all fed, i want to thank you all for loving and supporting my sons through all the years that have brought us here to the night they become adults.” jisung makes it to his father’s side as the guests erupt in another round of cheers. he tunes out king hwang’s speech, tapping on his father’s shoulder to get his attention.

“yes, jisung?”

“hyunjin told me he’s going to agree to your rules.”

king han lights up like he’s just been told he’s going to be a grandfather, “that’s wonderful—!”

“but you _will not_ bring it up with him or king hwang tonight. you will let them both enjoy the party and you will wait until he feels the most comfortable to state his agreement in a letter.” king han turns fully away from the current events to stare his son down,

“i am your father, jisung,” he hisses, “you do not tell me what to do.”

“but that is exactly what i am doing,” jisung shoots back with a harsh whisper, “i am an adult, father, you’ve gone too long using your age as superiority against me and i’m done listening to you. you got what you wanted with your _outrageous_ conditions and now i’m telling you to back off.”

“now, to officially begin the party, it would bring me much joy to see my sons share a dance with a guest of their choosing!” jisung can see over his father’s shoulder that hyunjin’s eyes are darting around, trying to find him so he won’t have to dance with a stranger.

“i am still your king. you should bite your tongue boy.” jisung hears king hwang invite anyone who wishes to dance with the twins step forward and he side steps his fuming father with a daring grin, inspired by hyunjin, _for_ hyunjin and their future together.

“and what will you do if i don’t?” he promptly spins on his heels and marches through the crowd to emerge in the center of the ballroom as one of many who long to twirl around with a prince. but jisung is the only one bold enough to walk right up to hyunjin and silently ask for his hand with a polite extension of his own. he smiles, practically giggling with delight as he slides their palms together. “my darling,” jisung calls softly, as though they are the only two people in the room. and hyunjin hangs onto every word, waiting with baited breath to give his reply because no matter what jisung asks him he already has the answer. “may i have this dance?”

the guests can all see jisung’s heart in hyunjin’s eyes and in the way their fingers wrap so easily around each other’s hands. they see hyunjin’s heart around jisung’s neck in that little snowflake necklace that holds a promise to love and cherish, in sickness and in health. it’s everywhere and all around the space they take up, blissfully suffocating the people around them as they all wonder how they were so blind to not see it before.

hyunjin nods, stepping closer to take jisung’s other hand and give them both a warm squeeze. “it would be my pleasure.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who read, commented and left kudos on this short fic, i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did :)


End file.
